Israel killed 22 members of Zainab Alqolaq's family, but even in the midst of genocide, she believes in the inevitability of freedom – Mondoweiss

Amid the incessant hum of drones in the sky, and amid the gruesome bloodshed and destruction that has decimated Israeli-occupied Gaza and its starving and traumatized population, voices of courage and steadfastness are ringing out from every corner of the besieged coastal enclave. They echo in the ruins of homes that once stood; in bombed schools that once filled with the laughter of children; in burned-out churches and mosques that once symbolized refuge; in destroyed hospitals that once functioned; and from those speaking from places unknown.

One of these voices belongs to Zainab Alqolaq. She was born and raised in the Gaza Strip. Before October 7, she lived in her house west of Gaza City before her entire neighborhood was attacked. “The Israeli occupation bombed and destroyed our homes. I was evacuated five times: twice in the north and three times in the south. One of these places was a hospital.”

Alqolaq has struggled ever since with the harsh circumstances she endures. She faces obstacles in accessing basic needs such as food, clean drinking water and medicine, and says that some days this is simply impossible.

“Every Palestinian has a tragic, miserable, sad and heartbreaking story caused by the Israeli occupation.” She too has lost loved ones, but the pain is intense and she is overwhelmed with grief. “I can tell you about my family and friends that I lost during this genocide, but right now I can't.”

This is understandable. Alqolaq's own life was irrevocably changed during one of Israel's previous military offensives in the Gaza Strip. It happened on May 16, 2021, at exactly 1:00 a.m.

Without warning, Israeli jets bombed Al-Wehda Street in al-Rimal, a densely populated neighborhood in the heart of Gaza City. The heavy shelling lasted only a few minutes, but left a trail of destruction and devastation. 43 people were killed, including 19 children. Among the victims were 22 members of Alqolaq's family, including her mother Amal, her sister Hanaa, and her brothers Taher and Ahmad.

That night, Alqolaq's life hung in the balance. She was trapped under the rubble of her home for 12 hours, a seemingly endless time as she struggled to breathe. For the first few hours, she was able to communicate with a paramedic on her phone before the battery died. Then she screamed for help for hours until she lost her voice. Eventually, civil defense crews managed to dig through three floors and collapsed ceilings to rescue her.

Alqolaq has lived with the pain and trauma of that night ever since. “My life has been filled with the pain of loss. The Israeli occupation killed my family. Here in Gaza, we live in constant fear of losing our relatives; that is exactly what is happening now.”

Alqolaq has used art to portray her reality. “Art is my special way of documenting and conveying to the world the massacres and crimes of the Israeli occupation against my family and my city. After the tragic loss of my family in 2021, I held an exhibition, painted artwork, wrote texts and published a booklet called ‘I am 22, I have lost 22 people', in which I documented the crimes of the occupying power against my family.”

Each haunting painting represents a shattered shard of her soul, but these days her metaphorical canvases are empty. “I haven't been able to draw since October 7th. I lost all my artwork, drawing tools, paints and personal belongings. Everything I painted is now under the rubble of my house.”

Wherever possible, Alqolaq seamlessly combines her passion for art with her penchant for words, as she holds a bachelor's degree in English literature. She has been taught several courses by Refaat Alareer. The writer, poet, professor and activist was killed by Israeli forces in December 2023. His poem If I have to diehas been translated into numerous languages. It is frequently read at Palestinian solidarity events around the world and is often seen on posters at demonstrations. “He supported me in a remarkable and valuable way,” she recalls wistfully. “I will never forget his words and his support.”

Before the Israeli military offensive began last fall, she was enrolled in an MBA program at the Islamic University of Gaza. “Three days before October 7, I had just attended a lecture and finished a presentation. Now everything has come to a standstill because of this genocide. So my educational journey will take longer and I don't know when I will finish it.”

Not only has her educational path been derailed, she also has to deal with the cruel reality. “During the occupation, several of our teachers were killed, including the university president, and the university building was also destroyed.”

In the face of this brutality and the constant horrors that change her life, she was still able to find comfort, strength and hope. “I found it in faith in God's mercy.”

She admits that without faith in God, she would have lost her mind. “I have always found that I can overcome my fears, worries and everything that I cannot bear by turning to the peace of the Quran.”

Prayer was her salvation. “Every time death surrounded me, I would turn to prayer and recite verses from the Holy Quran. Islam, the presence of Almighty God and the blessing of the Quran saving me in every situation and at every time are an integral part of my life. Praise be to God in abundance for He is closer to us than our jugular vein. He is close to His servants and knows better than I what is going on in my soul. He knows my prayers and knows what I want without me even uttering them. Praise be to God for allowing us to pray at any time and in any condition. Prayer is a great blessing that has helped me get through my darkest days.”

When asked what she would like to tell people around the world about the Palestinian cause, she replies: “The Israeli occupation consists of terrorists, thieves and murderers. They stole our land, killed my family and committed massacres against my relatives and friends.”

Alqolaq looks to the future of Gaza and is determined to see justice done. “I hope this barbaric occupation will end.” Even as a regional war looms between Israel, its Western lackeys and the Axis of Resistance, and chaos in Israel worsens due to the government's continued intransigence, economic collapse and people fleeing, one thing is clear: “The future is a free Palestine from the river to the sea.”

Victoria McKhail
Ayah Victoria McKhail is a Palestinian writer living in Toronto, Canada. Her goal is to capture stories about Palestinians in the West Bank and Gaza Strip and share them with people around the world.