Outrage over rape and murder of doctor in Calcutta raises question: Who will teach the boy?

Conservative societies base the idea of ​​”honour” exclusively on the female body, thereby deeply stigmatising rape victims. This feeling is then internalised by women and leads to the horrific idea that rape is a fate worse than death. This completes the cycle of devaluation of women. | Photo: Aleksandar Georgiev/Getty Images

An outraged refrain following the rape and murder at RG Kar Hospital in Kolkata centres on the assault taking place in the victim's “own workplace”, which should at least have been a safe haven. The problem lies in the word “own”. As the Reclaim the Night marches show, public spaces, workplaces and even homes are still not places where women can claim unconditional ownership. Whether in boardrooms or operating theatres, women are still seen – discreetly or blatantly – as intruders; they must be on guard when swaggering men claim their bodies and minds, their agency and authority. This is the dirty truth of patriarchy. This is why the first official comment after the Kolkata incident asked why the victim was in the room at night, not why the rapist was there.

One recalls a similarly chilling comment by one of the rapists and murderers in the Nirbhaya case, who said he did it because she was out at night and was fully convinced that she therefore “deserved” to be raped. The socialisation of men in India is such that from childhood they osmotically absorb the idea that a female body is by default “available” for male consumption. In the wake of the Kolkata episode, there are disturbing videos of young boys (and girls) telling reporters that the victim must share the blame, that men cannot control themselves and that women should stay at home to be safe. Conservative societies also embed the idea of ​​“honour” exclusively in female bodies, thus deeply stigmatising rape victims, a sentiment that is then internalised by women and in turn gives rise to the horrific idea that rape is a fate worse than death, thus completing the cycle of female devaluation.

The term “rape culture”, coined in the 1970s, refers to the global phenomenon of a growing social preference for rape, which has emerged from the ugly swamps of the glorification of sexual violence, extreme misogyny in language and images, and the normalization of violence against women and disrespect for women. Popular culture, through texts, memes, jokes or films such as Arjun Reddy And Animal, regularly glorifies violence against women and the sinister idea that violence is extreme love.

If we apply psychologist Albert Bandura's premise that people learn their behavior through observation, by picking up on things they see and hear, it becomes clear how easily rape is learned as acceptable behavior – from drinking buddies, from opening credits with rape porn and rape jokes, from the barrage of films that degrade women, and in families where women are traditionally rejected. This tendency is particularly pronounced in societies that revel in war culture and macho posturing – signs that are familiar in contemporary Indian social discourse.

Following the Kolkata incident, Google Trends data for India reportedly showed a spike in searches for the victim's rape video and her name on porn sites, a phenomenon also seen in 2019 when a veterinarian was raped and killed in Hyderabad. The voyeurism that comes with it is bad enough, but when you add to that the fact that the terms “rape” and “pornography” are being linked, we are dealing with a very sick society indeed. There is also reason to believe that the increasing fear and sense of male lack that comes with women's increasing power may be fueling the violence.

Every time a particularly gruesome rape or killing occurs, there are loud calls for stricter laws and the death penalty. But the solution lies not in more laws, but in more change, a fundamental change that must begin in our own homes and classrooms and tear down the patriarchy brick by brick. The slogan Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao can be summed up as “Save the girls, educate the girls”. But the real question for India is: Who will educate the boy?