Stephen Colbert on the debate: “Harris ran over Trump with a truck” | Late-night TV summary

Late-night hosts examined the numerous reactions to this week's U.S. presidential debate and found that despite criticism of his performance, Donald Trump still claimed victory.

Stephen Colbert

On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert gave a brief summary of this week's much-watched debate: “Harris ran over Trump with a truck.”

Kamala Harris was widely seen as the winner of this week's intense televised debate, and Trump “clearly knew he had messed up” because he went into the spin room himself to speak to the press.

The Harris camp has since called for a second debate, to which Colbert responded, “Yes, sir, can I have another one?”

Trump claimed this was a sign that she had lost, but Colbert retorted, “Or the counter argument: She ripped out your heart, showed it to you beating, and then ate it on national television… and now she'd like another one.”

While “the most damaging moment of last night was obviously Trump's decision to take the stage,” Colbert also raised the bizarre, racist theory that Haitian immigrants are kidnapping and eating pets.

After Trump brought up the subject, the moderator immediately checked the facts, but Trump countered, saying it was said on television. “The TV people said dogs were in danger,” Colbert said in character. “They keep getting into a mysterious van with cool teenagers.”

The “pet-eating brain worm got into Trump's skull through JD Vance,” who is spreading it despite a lack of evidence. “Please consider having your JD Vance neutered,” Colbert joked. “We don't want any more of them.”

On the night of the debate, Taylor Swift also gave her long-awaited support for Harris, dealing Vance a “knockout punch” by describing herself as a childless cat lady – a reference to his past criticism of certain American women.

“She's dragging JD Vance along,” he said. “I heard he's also the inspiration for her next album: The Tortured Couch Humpers Department.”

Jimmy Kimmel

On Jimmy Kimmel Live, the moderator said the debate “couldn’t have gone better” for Harris, although not everyone agreed.

“More than 67 million Americans watched the debate, and the only person who seemed to think Trump did a good job was Trump himself,” he said.

Trump has released unverified statistics and polls showing he won the debate by a large margin. “He gets absolutely destroyed and then acts like he won,” he said.

He also spoke about his reluctance to participate in a second debate because he believes it is a sign that Harris knows she lost the first one. Kimmel said she “handed you your big orange ass so brutally that you're afraid to face her again.”

Also mentioned was Swift's support and her dig at Vance. “Good job JD, you really messed up the sofa bed with that one,” he joked.

Vance's response was to criticize Swift as a billionaire who has no ties to real Americans. Kimmel pointed out that Vance claims she is “a disconnected billionaire like your running mate, Donald Trump.”

There was also a tweet from Elon Musk about giving her his child, “a statement so scary she could be Trump's vice presidential candidate.”

Kimmel is sure that we are “only scratching the surface of what a horrible pig this JD Vance is” and also criticizes him for spreading “this stupid, ridiculous, nonsensical lie” about eating pets.

The day after the debate, both Harris and Trump appeared at a 9/11 commemoration ceremony in New York, with the former president telling her she did a good job. Kimmel joked that Pence would look on dejectedly: “This guy never once told me I did a good job.”

He also joked that this meant that Harris had been “seen in public with Trump more often this year than Melania.”