Commentary | Women's Freedom Center: The power of “ALL” in #YESALLWOMEN | Opinion

In 2024, the Women's Freedom Center will honor survivors of domestic and sexual violence by collecting their stories. A 50th anniversary celebration for survivors will be held in Brattleboro in October, but throughout the year the WFC will host a number of events. The WFC has published a column in the Reformer for several years and we are reprinting some of those columns. The following was published in spring 2014.

There has been a massive shift on the social radar over the past week. Perhaps never has a media campaign struck such a deep nerve or captured the scope of a crisis so clearly as the new hashtag #YESALLWOMEN, which has already garnered over 2.2 million tweets worldwide. Coming mostly from women but also from male allies, it connects the full scope of sexual violence, harassment, objectification and fear that women experience on a daily basis—each post a response not just to the recent Isla Vista massacre, but to its root cause and the knee-jerk “not all men” defense that so often prevents any effective critique of male violence. Within days, spontaneous tweets began to illuminate both a network of global outrage and the full constellation of misogyny.

Because one thing is still obvious in 2014: Whatever we have achieved, there is no region where women are truly protected from male violence. Take a look at a few tweets and you will see universal truths, no matter where the author lives:

“Because women are forced to pay attention to their clothing, their behavior and their existence so that the male attention they receive does not turn into violence.”

“Every single woman you know has been harassed. And just as importantly, every single woman you don't know has been harassed.”

In fact, nearly a quarter of girls worldwide experience unwanted comments, touching or stalking in public by strangers by the age of 12. This means that we are all conditioned from day one to believe that public spaces are primarily men's spaces and that women's bodies are there for men to control, objectify, attack or harm.

“Because it's easier for society when people tell jokes about rape than when they confess that they were raped.”

“Because 'I have a boyfriend' is more effective than 'I'm not interested' – men respect other men more than my right to say no.”

And this basic right to say no has always been challenged by misogynists and used to blame victims for male aggression. Elliot Rodger, 22, of Santa Barbara, was not alone in this: Before killing six people and injuring 13, he uploaded a video to YouTube called “Retribution.” In it and in a 140-page manifesto posted online, he claimed he would prove himself the ultimate “alpha male” and take revenge on all the “sluts” who had sexually rejected him.

Beyond the guns and the worsening pathology, it's hard to miss the major role of misogyny – the hatred of women, the idea that women owe men something – that underlies virtually all male violence against women. And yet the mainstream media routinely keeps it under the critical radar. But it's important that we ourselves see the connections: There are no isolated misogynists. Rodger is a product of our toxic culture, which begins with sexist jokes and harassment and ends with murder and rape. And not just at the hands of a few extreme outsiders.

“Women in military service should not let their fear of being raped by their colleagues become greater than their fear of their enemy.”

And from the writer Margaret Atwood: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.”

Every day, men's violence radically limits and interrupts women's lives. One in three women will experience rape, violence, or stalking in her lifetime. Every day, countless women in the United States are subjected to extreme forms of terrorism by their male partners, and every day at least three of them do not survive. There is simply nothing comparable to this enormous gender gap between risk and responsibility.

“I spent 19 years teaching my daughter how not to get raped. How long have you spent teaching your son not to rape?”

Of course, education is key here. While all women are affected by sexism, not all men are sexist, violent or unwilling to stand up for gender equality. You don't have to be a woman to be a feminist – we're talking about universal human rights here. Nor is misogyny in our genes; it's an instilled – and in turn instilled – sense of male superiority, no matter who the man is or what field he's in. That's what links tragedies like the one in Isla Vista to every other form of sexist entitlement on the spectrum.

Nevertheless, the backlash against this work shows how far we still have to go:

“Because every time I try to say that I want gender equality, I have to explain that I don't hate men.”

It's amazing how quickly the mere mention of this gendered issue can lead to accusations of “man-bashing” – itself a violent term that conveniently sidesteps the gruesome stories of woman-bashing that fill headlines and now tweets around the world. As usual, power is protecting itself, and this defensiveness aims to obscure the already illegitimate power of the patriarchy. But times are indeed changing. There are now many new ways to resist; to speak truth to power and also to each other. It is urgent that everyone listen and work for change.

Finally, New York Times columnist Charles Blow says, “The problems facing women in this world require the commitment of every person in the world… #YesAllMen.”