The blame game does not help my community

June 15, 2024 should have been a normal, peaceful Saturday in Rochester Hills. Unfortunately, that was not the case. At around 5 p.m., a 42-year-old man opened fire on families at Brooklands Plaza Splash Pad, a popular community water park, injuring nine people, including two children. This happened in a city that is often ranked as one of the best cities in the country for raising a family.

We've heard countless similar stories, but this shooting felt different to me. It took place less than a half-mile from the house where I was born, grew up, and still live. The apartment where I ran around with my childhood babysitter should have been a place of joy – never sadness.

You might expect statistics on gun violence and that shootings will continue to happen unless we pass stricter laws. While that's true, that's not my focus. You might think I'm saying that the corruption of the gun lobby and other big investors is causing our politicians to do nothing on this issue despite the overwhelming consensus of the American people. That too is true. You might even expect me to say we need to address the mental health crisis in our country so that those who have access to guns don't turn to violence in their worst fits, as the shooter did, but that too is true.

Every politician, journalist and activist in the world has said these things before, and they have very little progress to show for it. They oppose progress, as they have done for over 100 years, by blaming others. Democrats blame Republicans, Republicans blame Democrats, the House blames the Senate, the President blames the U.S. Supreme Court, which blames the Constitution. The gun lobby blames individuals, and victims blame the gun lobby.

People very rarely, if ever, hear a politician say, “I could have done better, I could have done more, I should have done more.” They cannot claim that they subsequently changed their minds on an issue because they were afraid of a change of heart.

And almost no one ever says the three most honest and wise words in the English language: “I was wrong.”

How is it that we have created a political atmosphere where everyone is at fault but no one is responsible? Everyone knows that kid at school or that coworker at the office who always has an excuse – blaming someone or something for their mistakes or shortcomings. That person is almost always the first to fail and the first to be fired. How have we made it acceptable for that kind of person to take the lead in our cities, states, countries and coalitions?

Blame is a powerful force. It shifts responsibility from ourselves to the shoulders of others. This may bring momentary relief or a sense of justice, but it comes at a high price: the breakdown of compromise. Compromise is the cornerstone of progress in any democratic society. Through compromise, disparate groups find common ground, pass policies, and move forward; but when blame becomes the default response, compromise becomes nearly impossible.

When politicians and political leaders focus more on assigning blame than finding solutions, they create a climate where no one is willing to meet halfway. Each side remains stuck in its own – often slightly flawed – position, convinced that the blame lies solely with the other side. This creates a deadlock and prevents any meaningful action. The victims of this stalemate are not the politicians or lobbyists, but the ordinary people who suffer the consequences of inaction.

There is a broad consensus among the American people that certain measures, such as universal background checks and limits on high-capacity magazines, could improve our current situation. Yet these measures remain stuck in the legislative process because politicians are too busy blaming each other to engage in real dialogue and negotiation. Instead of working together to find a compromise that could save lives, they retreat into their corners, armed with rhetoric and accusations.

This culture of blame goes beyond politics. It permeates our social interactions and community responses. After each tragedy, users flood social media with ridiculous arguments and counterarguments, with each side blaming the other for the situation. This not only deepens divisions, but also distracts us from the real issue: how we can prevent such tragedies in the future.

Blaming is easy. It requires no self-reflection, no willingness to change, and no effort to understand the other side. Compromise, on the other hand, is hard. It requires humility, empathy, and a genuine commitment to the common good. Compromising requires listening to one another, understanding different perspectives, and being willing to give something up to achieve a larger goal.

That doesn't mean we always have to agree. People have ideological differences, politicians have to answer to their constituents, and deeply personal life experiences lead people to their own conclusions. Debates are natural, but these debates must be conducted in good faith.

As a resident of Rochester Hills, I have seen firsthand the pain and suffering caused by the failure of compromise. Our community is strong, resilient, and capable of great things. To move forward, we must reject the culture of blame and embrace the spirit of compromise. We need leaders who are willing to say, “I was wrong,” and who choose solutions over scoring political points.

Let's honor the victims of the Brooklands Plaza Splash Pad Shooting by working together to create a safer, more compassionate society. We must hold our politicians accountable, not only for their actions, but for their willingness to engage in honest, constructive dialogue. We as a community must lead by example and show that even in the face of tragedy, we can come together and make a difference.

Ultimately, the true measure of progress is not how loudly we can blame others, but how effectively we can work together to build a better future. My community – and our entire nation – deserves nothing less.

Seth Gabrielson is an opinion columnist who writes about the intersection of politics, science, and philosophy while studying physics, philosophy, aerospace engineering, and German. He can be reached at [email protected].

Related articles