‘Sister Wives’ Kody Brown Shares His ‘Only Regret’ About His Family’s State (Exclusive)

Sisterwives Kody Brown reflects on his past and future.

In an interview with PEOPLE, the Brown family said The patriarch explains that he has a different outlook on life following the loss of his son and ex Janelle, Garrison, who committed suicide in March. When he reflects on what he would have done differently, he admits he does have one regret.

“My only regret is that I have to use the time,” he says. “I want to go out to eat again. I want to sit down. I want to drink a beer. I want to [Garrison] to try to make me laugh because of how he was.”

“My only regret is, 'Oh my goodness, I wish I could do this more often,'” he adds.

He is grateful for the time he spent with his late son and is now making sure that his loved ones remain his top priority.

“Your life is full of moments like that,” he says. “I recently went on a short trip with my brothers – and I almost didn't do it. I had something urgent to do and I had a brother's passport. I remember feeling like I had to go and see him first. And so I went on that trip with my brothers. I went and did it.”

“There were other things that were pressing, and I just said to myself, 'What if this is the last time?'” he recalls.

After the many ups and downs in his life, Kody says he says “yes” more often now than he used to because he doesn't want to have any regrets. He's also learned not to get worked up over little things or be “too petty” in arguments, especially when he thinks back to the broken marriages he had with all of his sister wives except one – Robyn.

“There's even regret about the divorce – Meri, Janelle and Christine – those divorces and the anger during those divorces,” he says. “Sure, I regret that.”

His goal now is to approach life with more sensitivity, knowing that there are people who will not always be there.

“There will always be a moment when you say, 'I wish I had taken that chance,' and then you regret it,” he says, adding later, “But look, that's all over now and everyone is on the mend. And now we can look forward and just take the steps that will cause less regret.”

Looking to the future, Kody hopes that everyone in his family is “happy.” Although it is simple, he explains that happiness is what makes a good life.

“People are drawn to places where they feel comfortable, where they are happy and where they have fun,” says the reality TV star. “So I hope everyone is happy.”

“I hope all my children get married and have children,” he continues. “That's what I hope. And I hope they find happiness in these places.”

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Season 19 of Sisterwives Premieres Sunday, September 15 at 10pm ET on TLC.